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Apple Watch not Accurate. View Public Profile. Send a private message to nancy Find More Posts by nancy Find Trip Reports. No idea, but I'll be very interested in the responses!

Send a private message to sf Find More Posts by sf Received 3 Likes on 3 Posts. A community is made up of lots of great people with different ideas and they aren't all necessarily "liberal" whatever that means.

Am I correct in assuming this has to be IN California and nowhere else? What do you mean by "active? Send a private message to Dukey1. Find More Posts by Dukey1. Active is usually a word for younger demographics, but in this sense, I wonder if you mean politically activist ie, bus trips to protest some places as a feature of the community?

I'd think the best bet is a place located in an area known for that type of population, San Luis Obispo sounds a likely bet, but so would San Francisco. I'd also think you'd have to find something like that in Portland and Eugene, OR and San Mateo in CA and of course, Berkeley, but not sure there are retirement communities there.

I used to live in Santa Monica, it's liberal and progressive enough, but very expensive. I had friends in San Luis Obispo and I can imagine that such a thing exists there. The problem with a lot of cities like where i live, Washington DC is that in a large urban area, you couldn't predict which people would go to live in a certain place as both liberals and conservatives live in the area.

Send a private message to Christina. Find More Posts by Christina. Dec 30th, , PM. You might want to consider Claremont, CA. Send a private message to cmcfong. Find More Posts by cmcfong. Send a private message to bbqboy. Find More Posts by bbqboy. When I think of liberal and diversity I think of the San Francisco area.

Then again Portland, Oregon would be perfect for all kinds of outdoor activities skiing, biking, kayaking, jogging, etc. And Portland is one of the most liberal cities I've been too my DD and SIL live there so I visit fairly often.

They are very progressive when it comes to environmental practices, politics, food organic, local, in season, and is considered the Paris of the USA. Send a private message to nanabee. Find More Posts by nanabee. Likes: 1.

Received 2 Likes on 1 Post. Davis, California would fit the bill. Send a private message to MichelleY. Find More Posts by MichelleY. Likes: 2. Received 22 Likes on 4 Posts. Send a private message to HappyTrvlr. Find More Posts by HappyTrvlr.

Send a private message to frogoutofwater. Find More Posts by frogoutofwater. Send a private message to Rich.

Find More Posts by Rich. Lots of gobbley-gook answers. I agree about SLO, it's considered the happiest town in the United States. I have family that have retired in the area and they love it. Some of better or worse than others, eh! I lived in an over 55 in the Rogue Valley and while there were busybodies, most people lived their lives, were friendly, and checked on those neighbors who needed a little help.

Many residents were living on SS only and as people got to know who was struggling, they would leave bags of groceries in their porches. People looked out for one another. Who cares if someone wants to gossip about you? I was one of the youngest residents at 58, had pink hair and smoked weed.

My husband had a psychotic break, wrecked our house and got arrested. There was plenty of talk, I assure you.

Some of my neighbors sat back and gossiped and others came forward and helped me get the house back together, offered support and did not judge. Originally Posted by choff5. Their experience has been positive, it's near their kids, and both spent time serving in various HOA board positions.

They were quite social there at first but as they've aged they pulled back from the activities, maybe just got tired of doing the same things over and over as well to be honest.

In their case they are literally 1 block from a regular neighborhood, separated by a few office buildings, so it didn't really feel like they were surrounded by old people. And they kept up the friendships they had prior to moving there.

Now they are pushing 90 and have few friends left. Their newer, younger neighbors check in on them from time to time but that's about it. This is just the downside to living a long life no matter where you live. I may move into one of the bigger Sun City neighborhoods myself at some point, depending on what's happening in my life in another years.

By then I'll be 65 and there won't be anything to keep in my current location once my parents are gone and my youngest is out of the house. Ours is a smaller subdivision with single family homes. We have great neighbors and love that it's quiet and friendly.

Since we snowbird, the house sits empty for part of the year, but our neighbors keep an eye on things and call us if there are any problems. Last summer my irrigation system sprang a large leak. One of the neighbors came over and fixed it for us.

Neighbors tend to be very helpful. Marble cake. Originally Posted by seeriously. Yes regrets. Enough that after eight years we are now ages 69 and 72 we are moving out at the end of May and building a home in an all-ages subdivision in another part of the country.

My experiences.. no one wants to really know you. There's no girlfriending going on. They just expect you to show up for scheduled activities and keep conversations shallow, usually over cards or puzzles. We are, however, leaving behind two couples, friends who I hope will come visit us.

What connects us are our similar political views and as well as a writing group.

When you think about what type of community you plan to live after you retire, what comes to mind? Chances are, the younger you are today, the less likely you are to choose such a community after you retire. As I write this, I am 59 and my husband is We have no desire to move to one of these communities.

Occasionally, I bring this question up in conversations with friends who are our age or perhaps slightly older. No one we know is planning to live in one, either. Speaking for myself, here are four reasons why I am opting to live out my retirement years in the community-at-large, not an age-restricted enclave.

We live in Chandler, which is a suburb located about 20 miles southeast of Phoenix, Arizona. Overall, we like it a lot, but occasionally we talk of moving closer to town to be closer to most of our friends and activities. We drive into Phoenix or Scottsdale often for band rehearsals, theatre, restaurants, or visiting with friends, and living closer to downtown Phoenix would shorten our drive.

Sun City, Sun City West, Sun City Grand, Sun Lakes, Pebble Creek, Leisure World, and dozens of smaller communities sit on the edge of outer suburbia.

Most of them are built on land that was available in larger masses and at lower prices, due to their remote locations. Most retirement communities in other states are either built in previously undeveloped areas such as The Villages in Florida or on the outskirts of towns.

For these communities, self-containment is the objective. How to find the best place to retire is covered in greater depth in my book The Quest for Retirement Utopia.

This book will suggest new possibilities for where and how you might retire. It will help you clarify what factors are most important to you. It will help you evaluate each place realistically and dissuade you from making a poor choice. And it will provide you with the resources you need to make the most informed choice.

Click here to learn more BUY IT NOW! We enjoy the mix of people in all age ranges that we interact with in our bands. The younger folks in our bands are friendly towards us, and knowing them enables us to keep up with current culture and trends. Being around younger people keeps us youthful relatively speaking.

We enjoy being part of a diverse population that we see when we are out in the community. I have often read the claim that you are the average of the five people you hang around with the most, and I believe this to be true. We are not part of three out of those four demographics.

We expect that we will be happiest in the community-at-large, where there is a wider range of ages, ethnicities, orientations, religions, and political viewpoints. This book was retitled Leisureville: Adventures in a World Without Children for the paperback and Kindle editions.

The copyright date on this book is , which means the data quoted in the book is over ten years old now. However, back then there were already signs that the demand might be abating, even though an estimated 10, people turn 65 every day. According to a generational marketing expert quoted in the book, people from pre-Baby Boomer generations and perhaps the earlier Baby Boomers valued conformity and community.

They viewed retirement as a time to just kick back and relax after a long work career. Many of the people Blechman interviewed at The Villages in Florida expressed a keen desire to live with no children around. They flocked to communities such as The Villages and Sun City.

People approaching and entering retirement today and those who will follow want anything but a giant one-size-fits-all age-segregated, planned community. People entering retirement today want purpose and fulfillment.

They are more active, adventurous and individualistic. Of course, this is how I feel at age Are you considering moving to one — or have you? Why or why not? Photo credits: Sun City: Jack Miller. Some rights reserved. The Villages: Ted Eytan. My husband was tired of working on the house [or worried about it in our future years- although the house is now worth 1million,, thousand!!..

and we could have easily maintained it]. then that stopped…. and the cliques and gossip started!! and back to the San Francisco Bay Area- where there is more diversity in age, cultural backgrounds and interest.

Thank you for bringing this issue to light. Thanks again! Thanks for your comment. and apartments. Yes, at my age I too have Arthritis pain throughout my body, but I choose to not verbally complain and deal with it by singing with my music from the radio or C.

My other favorite hobby when I feel a little down is to put on some of my favorite COMEDIANS. Hi Ginny, We totally agree with what you said.. we Heard You! Not everyone is blessed to have a still-living partner, family and friends. I love children. This could not be further from my experience.

We are individualistic, active, adventurous, newly-retired, early Gen Xers and LOVE living in the age-segregated community of Sun City West. We have purpose and fulfillment beyond anything we could have dreamed of in our younger days.

That is a ridiculous assumption! Our community here bolsters our ability to pursue our passions with those who, at similar life stages, share our interests.

We have a wonderful and ever-growing group of friends who range in age from 52 to Perhaps this active, independent lifestyle is not for everyone, but I believe there are enough Boomers and Gen Xers like me to keep the demand strong for these active adult communities.

I have a few friends who live in Sun City and Sun City West, and they like it. Clearly, these communities are great solutions for some. I actually considered moving there. I live in Chandler, on the other side of the Phoenix metro area. Others, particularly in the southeast, are gated communities that are more remote and therefore more insular.

Hi Dave, I retired a year ago and am happy in my post-work life, but I am a people-lover with many friends and am far more extroverted than my husband, who has a tight but very small group of friends, has little interest in establishing any new friendships, and is happiest only venturing out around other people occasionally.

Few of my friends live close by, we are childless, and I find myself longing for a tighter community to live within, preferably one containing some of my favorite friends. If you know of any viable plans like these that I could learn from, I would be most appreciative.

Thanks much. People build connections and help each other out with things like chores, driving to appointments, checking in on each other, etc. I mean some of these people that wrote here, ARE EXACTLY PART OF THE PROBLEM, if all they notice is gossiping, mischievous atmosphere, politically loaded conversations, etc.

No offense, but that means THEY WERE PART OF IT. I mean, what do you care? You have your own backyard, kitchen, bedroom,separation. You ARE NOT confined to that community. There is no curfew. You can jump at anytime in your car and drive to any cool pkace in Phoenix or Scottsdale or Sedona or drive to Palm Springs, or whatever.

Nobody stops you, novody forces you to be part of anything. People that complain about the bullying and gossiping might be just weak individuals, lacking self esteem,in look for self validation. The only difference in tbose communities is that you have access to amenities and places where you can actually SEE AND MEET someone from your proximity, someone relatively close in age and interests.

They might be on your liking or not, if they are you click, if they are jot just move to a different pool chair or bar stool. You can buy tickets at a Broadway show and I cannot?

You can go at dinner at The Phoenician and I cannot? Where you see other people that are doing the same thing, whom you have a minimal interaction with, and you all go back to your isolated homes at the end of the day.

While in a retirement community AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CHANCE, of hanging out with more people, making more connections, making more friends. You make a lot of good points here.

Sometimes people are part of their own problems. This article and the reviews are right on. Several years ago when I was 60, I moved to one of those senior apartment buildings. I live alone, my husband has to live in a facility because of a severe TBI. I thought I would try it.

They had one or two nice staff, otherwise the staff and management were disrespectful, bullies and ageists. I had to avoid them as much as possible. I had to use a lock on the inside of my door to protect my privacy.

Complaining and threatening to call the police made little difference. It stopped for awhile, only to start again later. From the first few weeks I lived there I felt like I was back in junior high school, complete with the cliques, gossips who love spreading rumors and just rude, childish people who hung out in the halls and the lobby.

The more mature, kinder people avoided the lobby. One resident told me how hard it was for her to walk past them. It was difficult to make friends. You lose the ability to trust people. I actually had 2 women residents stalk and harass me.

After a few years the owners refused to renew leases, forcing residents to sign a service agreement for assisted living, divulge their finances and accept a huge raise in their rent or move out. A lot of residents left, including me. Why would independent people want to live in assisted living?!

I will never go to one of those horrible places again. They claim these senior living places are good for mental health. I think the owners of some of these places want that to happen.

I think living with diversity is so much healthier mentally. Thanks for sharing your experience. I completely agree Linda. I live in a homeownership community near the Villages in Florida. The area is lacking in amenities, health care, infrastructure and transportation.

I have to drive and drive miles to everything here. The people in the communities which is very large are primarily what you expect. White conservative couples, widows and widowers. A rather churchy type population to an extent. It seems many of the singles seem to be overly interested in hooking up.

The ambulances are in and out all day long taking these retirees to the ER. I feel like a fish out of water here there is no diversity of people, mindsets and on and on.

The rents in the USA are outrageous and much more than my mortgage. So its like I hate to say it. Im rather Stuck in Florida. That is until the homeowners insurance problems here literally price me out of living here, which is probably going to happen soon.

High school again, with the cliques and gossip!! We live in Jubilee outside of Olympia, Wa. and they promised so many things as far as mental stimulation, etc… We, like you, feel we have aged tremendously living here has been very hard on our mental health and our marriage. getting another convertible and taking beautiful drives down the Pacific coast for lunch, and more..

let the fun begin.!!.. These comments were very enlightening. I have thought about these communities as I am in my seventies and alone,no family for miles. I have had my suspicions about them and after reading these comments will not be moving into one.

I too like my privacy,diversity and having younger people around. The other problem is it seems most of them are in the middle of nowhere,leaving a person with little choice but their activities. I like having a large variety of things nearby. Will just stay in my home until I run out of money to maintain it then probably move to an apt.

in a city. Good luck! People are healthier and living longer. The fact remains that those retiring at 55 live for about 6 or 7 years more.

I want diversity, independence, and individuality in my life. I am so glad I discovered your site. She and her husband love it, on the other hand, I live with my handicapped husband on a small farm.

I raise my own chickens and vegies. I still teach at the local Jr. Her HOA fees are out of site and she spent over , dollars more for her villa than our farm is worth. It seems like not a very good trade for the so-called activities. But she loves her card games and donut Sundays. All I know is that I could not grow my gardens, or hear my rooster, Caesar, crow in the morning, or ride my horse.

To each his own. Many communities have strict rules about what you can and cannot do on your property. I like to look out my window and see people jogging, riding bikes, playing with their kids, actually using the swimming pool and sports equipment, and talking about LIVING, not DYING.

Makes a big difference in my outlook and vitality. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your comments are similar to several others I have received.

My impression is that the people who do best in them are the ones who closely match the demographics of the people who already live there. The click hijacked my disability assigned parking on Thanksgiving and acted as if they had every right to use it!!

I called police! Civil Rights investigator forced parking company to issue violation but the buddy click and HOA still act like I overreacted on a holiday for their buddy in my bldg?!

Tired of nosey women ambushing me at my car with nosey questions! I told my financial advisor he won but he feels bad because my reno is so nice!! Nosey jealous gossiping male neighbor told me he heard allergies got my nice Penthouse floor approved so all of them can get Drs statements! HOW INSULTING HE WAS WRONG and I put him in his place!!

yes renos have started!!! These people assume I want dogs on me and it aggravating! Now I stand back until they get the dog away from me!! They use dog walking to be nosey as well. ago and regret it. Stop trying to manage my life!! Women seem to be of one mindset here — cooking for their husbands and going to activities to eat, drink and gain weight ugh.

Very gossipy with too much time of their hands. My husband and I are too independent for a place like this. We would also prefer to do our own yard work instead of the half-assed job we get from their landscaper.

I am actively looking for a house as I type this, although we probably will not make the move until next year. Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you should be able to create the retirement YOU want, as opposed to the retirement that activity planners want you to have.

That sort of thing is fine for some people, but certainly not everyone. Thanks for your kind words, Dave and for creating this forum.

I appreciate your giving me a chance to vent my thoughts and feelings! Hi Fiona, Boy, is it good to read your words! We have now gotten snubbed and treated like we are dirt.. Groups of women tend to be difficult to begin with, and add the isolation, the boredom, the overwhelmingly sedentary nature of these women, and there are too many idle hands and wicked tongues around here.

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Thank you for bringing this issue to light. Thanks again! Thanks for your comment. and apartments. Yes, at my age I too have Arthritis pain throughout my body, but I choose to not verbally complain and deal with it by singing with my music from the radio or C.

My other favorite hobby when I feel a little down is to put on some of my favorite COMEDIANS. Hi Ginny, We totally agree with what you said.. we Heard You! Not everyone is blessed to have a still-living partner, family and friends. I love children.

This could not be further from my experience. We are individualistic, active, adventurous, newly-retired, early Gen Xers and LOVE living in the age-segregated community of Sun City West.

We have purpose and fulfillment beyond anything we could have dreamed of in our younger days. That is a ridiculous assumption! Our community here bolsters our ability to pursue our passions with those who, at similar life stages, share our interests. We have a wonderful and ever-growing group of friends who range in age from 52 to Perhaps this active, independent lifestyle is not for everyone, but I believe there are enough Boomers and Gen Xers like me to keep the demand strong for these active adult communities.

I have a few friends who live in Sun City and Sun City West, and they like it. Clearly, these communities are great solutions for some.

I actually considered moving there. I live in Chandler, on the other side of the Phoenix metro area. Others, particularly in the southeast, are gated communities that are more remote and therefore more insular. Hi Dave, I retired a year ago and am happy in my post-work life, but I am a people-lover with many friends and am far more extroverted than my husband, who has a tight but very small group of friends, has little interest in establishing any new friendships, and is happiest only venturing out around other people occasionally.

Few of my friends live close by, we are childless, and I find myself longing for a tighter community to live within, preferably one containing some of my favorite friends. If you know of any viable plans like these that I could learn from, I would be most appreciative.

Thanks much. People build connections and help each other out with things like chores, driving to appointments, checking in on each other, etc. I mean some of these people that wrote here, ARE EXACTLY PART OF THE PROBLEM, if all they notice is gossiping, mischievous atmosphere, politically loaded conversations, etc.

No offense, but that means THEY WERE PART OF IT. I mean, what do you care? You have your own backyard, kitchen, bedroom,separation. You ARE NOT confined to that community.

There is no curfew. You can jump at anytime in your car and drive to any cool pkace in Phoenix or Scottsdale or Sedona or drive to Palm Springs, or whatever. Nobody stops you, novody forces you to be part of anything. People that complain about the bullying and gossiping might be just weak individuals, lacking self esteem,in look for self validation.

The only difference in tbose communities is that you have access to amenities and places where you can actually SEE AND MEET someone from your proximity, someone relatively close in age and interests. They might be on your liking or not, if they are you click, if they are jot just move to a different pool chair or bar stool.

You can buy tickets at a Broadway show and I cannot? You can go at dinner at The Phoenician and I cannot? Where you see other people that are doing the same thing, whom you have a minimal interaction with, and you all go back to your isolated homes at the end of the day.

While in a retirement community AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CHANCE, of hanging out with more people, making more connections, making more friends. You make a lot of good points here.

Sometimes people are part of their own problems. This article and the reviews are right on. Several years ago when I was 60, I moved to one of those senior apartment buildings. I live alone, my husband has to live in a facility because of a severe TBI. I thought I would try it. They had one or two nice staff, otherwise the staff and management were disrespectful, bullies and ageists.

I had to avoid them as much as possible. I had to use a lock on the inside of my door to protect my privacy. Complaining and threatening to call the police made little difference.

It stopped for awhile, only to start again later. From the first few weeks I lived there I felt like I was back in junior high school, complete with the cliques, gossips who love spreading rumors and just rude, childish people who hung out in the halls and the lobby. The more mature, kinder people avoided the lobby.

One resident told me how hard it was for her to walk past them. It was difficult to make friends. You lose the ability to trust people. I actually had 2 women residents stalk and harass me. After a few years the owners refused to renew leases, forcing residents to sign a service agreement for assisted living, divulge their finances and accept a huge raise in their rent or move out.

A lot of residents left, including me. Why would independent people want to live in assisted living?! I will never go to one of those horrible places again. They claim these senior living places are good for mental health.

I think the owners of some of these places want that to happen. I think living with diversity is so much healthier mentally. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I completely agree Linda. I live in a homeownership community near the Villages in Florida. The area is lacking in amenities, health care, infrastructure and transportation. I have to drive and drive miles to everything here.

The people in the communities which is very large are primarily what you expect. White conservative couples, widows and widowers. A rather churchy type population to an extent. It seems many of the singles seem to be overly interested in hooking up.

The ambulances are in and out all day long taking these retirees to the ER. I feel like a fish out of water here there is no diversity of people, mindsets and on and on. The rents in the USA are outrageous and much more than my mortgage. So its like I hate to say it. Im rather Stuck in Florida.

That is until the homeowners insurance problems here literally price me out of living here, which is probably going to happen soon. High school again, with the cliques and gossip!! We live in Jubilee outside of Olympia, Wa. and they promised so many things as far as mental stimulation, etc… We, like you, feel we have aged tremendously living here has been very hard on our mental health and our marriage.

getting another convertible and taking beautiful drives down the Pacific coast for lunch, and more.. let the fun begin.!!..

These comments were very enlightening. I have thought about these communities as I am in my seventies and alone,no family for miles. I have had my suspicions about them and after reading these comments will not be moving into one.

I too like my privacy,diversity and having younger people around. The other problem is it seems most of them are in the middle of nowhere,leaving a person with little choice but their activities.

I like having a large variety of things nearby. Will just stay in my home until I run out of money to maintain it then probably move to an apt.

in a city. Good luck! People are healthier and living longer. The fact remains that those retiring at 55 live for about 6 or 7 years more. I want diversity, independence, and individuality in my life. I am so glad I discovered your site. She and her husband love it, on the other hand, I live with my handicapped husband on a small farm.

I raise my own chickens and vegies. I still teach at the local Jr. Her HOA fees are out of site and she spent over , dollars more for her villa than our farm is worth. It seems like not a very good trade for the so-called activities. But she loves her card games and donut Sundays.

All I know is that I could not grow my gardens, or hear my rooster, Caesar, crow in the morning, or ride my horse. To each his own. Many communities have strict rules about what you can and cannot do on your property.

I like to look out my window and see people jogging, riding bikes, playing with their kids, actually using the swimming pool and sports equipment, and talking about LIVING, not DYING. Makes a big difference in my outlook and vitality.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your comments are similar to several others I have received. My impression is that the people who do best in them are the ones who closely match the demographics of the people who already live there. The click hijacked my disability assigned parking on Thanksgiving and acted as if they had every right to use it!!

I called police! Civil Rights investigator forced parking company to issue violation but the buddy click and HOA still act like I overreacted on a holiday for their buddy in my bldg?! Tired of nosey women ambushing me at my car with nosey questions!

I told my financial advisor he won but he feels bad because my reno is so nice!! Nosey jealous gossiping male neighbor told me he heard allergies got my nice Penthouse floor approved so all of them can get Drs statements! HOW INSULTING HE WAS WRONG and I put him in his place!!

yes renos have started!!! These people assume I want dogs on me and it aggravating! Now I stand back until they get the dog away from me!!

They use dog walking to be nosey as well. So, I'm just going to say - that for me, I have very active mod-severe AS. I may never get to working out like I used to but I realize that my life has changed - forever.

This is the new normal and I accept that. I suggest that you discuss what her ner normal is going to be with her rheumy. That way you both have realistic expectations for HER and not what you've read about other people.

This disease is very individual. Obviously, this is just a snap shot of what this systemic disease does to a person. And opinions vary on this site as much as the disease varies in person to person.

If you want to know more not what is read on WEB MD - but actual reality you should read about what people experience on this site. The horrible fatigue, the pain, the tendon and muscle problems, the headaches, the SI joint pain, being unable to lay or sit or stand.

I could go on and on I wish her all the luck in the world. I have learned that riding a stationary bike, using an elliptical, and doing gental yoga, as well as somthing called yamuna body rolling all help to ease pain, and keep me from getting too sedentary.

Once you begin to loose muscle tone, it is difficult to get it back. Especially if weights and resistance exercises are too much for her. If she has been mostly sedentary for five years then she might want to check into PT once she gets on the meds, or even before.

If she sees a reduction in pain, she might think she can jump right back into things, and over do it. But if she takes it slowly, and begins to rebuild her body, she will be able to tell you what she can and can't do. Hot Yoga, gental yoga, and yoga for beginners are good classes to start with.

Tell her to check out a studio with certified instructors. Many times you can find instructors trained in physical therapy, sports medicine, and theraputic yoga, who will sit down with her and help her devise a routine that she can do, and allow her to expand on it as she becomes able.

Start slow, and if you have been in this for 5 years, you will most likely be able to tell if she is pushing too hard, even if she doesn't tell, you probably know her signs of pain. Be patient, and caring, and let her know that you want to help her get back to being herself. Also basic home gym equipment such as a stability ball, yoga mat, stability blocks, straps, resistance bands and hand weights are all relatively inexpensive, and make it easy to perform PT exercises at home as well.

Keep being the kind and caring boyfriend it sounds like you are, and talk with her about active things she wants to do or enjoys doing and look into those as ways to be active together. Good luck!! Joined: Dec Loss of condition is very easy and it is unfortunate because it really makes things worse.

Now that she has a diagnosis, you could help advocate for her to get on medications that can make a difference to her inflammation, and it is really important also to manage the pain better than it has been so far.

Then, start slow. If she can only walk 20 paces, that's fine, but try to encourage her to get up and walk those 20 paces every hour, then every half hour, then maybe increase a little, and so on.

But she should not be doing things that cause overwhelming pain, which is why managing the pain and inflammation is probably the first step.

Spondylitis since '08, finally diagnosed Feb ' Its really good you have come here to this site and started asking questions that might help you stay close to your girlfriend.

I'm not sure you are going to get any really concrete answers though, especially if you are looking at her returning to a "normal" level of activity.

Yes, now she has the diagnosis things are going to change and hopefully change a lot for the better once she gets onto good treatment that knocks the inflammmation.

Just be there with her, and keep on enjoying her company in whatever ways you can - let her lead the way. There are also definitely some ways of exercising that are a lot easier.

Like her, I find an elliptical machine an awful lot easier than a treadmill. A recumbant bike either stationary or a road version is also great.

As others have said, its not about whether she can do the things you do, its about whether you can find things to do WITH her. If both of you enjoy outdoor stuff, then there will be ways of doing things together, even if its a bit of a compromise, like you jogging alongside her on a recumbant bike.

Check out the AS stretching exercises too - that might be something you can do together - you as a prelim to going for a run, and her as part of her regular self help programme. You will have to wait and see. Do give a bit of encouragement to help her get her mobility back a bit, but don't push too hard.

One thing all of us here know is just how hard it can be to make other people aware of how the pain of AS is affecting us, even when we don't look too bad. Check out the spoon theory too. Cauda equina type neurogenic bladder problems. Coeliac disease.

Sicca syndrome. Ataxic gait and use crutches. Non-specific gut problems. Current treatment: Low dose naltrexone, low starch diet Guts shredded by NSAIDs. Previously diclofenac worked well, not eligible for anti-tnfs, hypersensitivity to SSZ. Also short bursts of pred for bad flares.

Seattle, Washington, USA. Originally Posted By: msquared. pre-mix has no latex Allergic to "Sure Click Enbrel"-has latex Remicade June to current Grandfather had AS, PsA "We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

Joined: Jul New York. There isn't one pat answer. It doens't help that it can take us a lot longer to get diagnosed and thus treated. If she is getting treatment early enough, so there isn't very much damage--yes.

Being active is very important for spondys ONCE there is a treatment plan. I was almost bedridden and on Enbrel--I was a Christo Monitor for 7 days straight. That is being on my feet all day AND jumping up and down. I did too much and was almost bedridden again. Unfortunately, I went so long without treatment that it didn't work for long.

Give her a chance, it is sometimes harder for us after the thrill of diagnosis. JohnnyD Aug 16, Replies 13 Views Aug 17, Stevebav. Let's set some goals! A throwdown! Chuck C Jul 2, 2 3 4. Replies 75 Views 9K. Aug 4, dornole. Weight lifting.

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