Stress management techniques for self-compassion -
Blamed and then beat yourself up a little inside for doing something you regret? But what if there was a better way? When we forgive ourselves, accept our perceived flaws, and show ourselves kindness, we practice self-compassion.
If you ever judge or criticize yourself for no justifiable reason, some of these techniques could be valuable. Some might not be your cup of tea, but others might resonate and come in handy when you least expect it. Read on to find out how to practice self-compassion with tips and exercises, then tell us—what works for you?
Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free. These detailed, science-based exercises will not only help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students, or employees show more compassion to themselves.
Operationally defined and introduced to the positive psychology literature by Associate Professor Dr. Kristin Neff, it is comprised of three separate constructs: Self-kindness, Common Humanity , and Mindfulness Neff, a; b. Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt Neff, a.
Some examples, adapted from the Self-Compassion Scale SCS , include Neff, b: :. Having Common Humanity means viewing our own individual experiences as embedded in the broader human experience, rather than seeing ourselves as isolated or separate from others Neff, a.
Mindfulness is seen as the opposite of avoidance or over-identification in self-compassion theory—it entails acknowledging and labeling our own thoughts as opposed to reacting to them Kabat-Zinn, ; Neff, When we have self-compassion, we are aware of our own hurtful thoughts and emotions without blowing up their significance through rumination.
Instead, we adopt a positive balance between this over-identification at one extreme, and completely avoiding painful emotions and experiences at the other Neff, a.
Read more about mindful self-compassion here. We also see some key themes popping up that you might already be very familiar with: empathy, kindness, forgiveness, caring, tenderness, and various synonyms for acceptance and non-judgment.
But because so much of our mental activity is ingrained or instinctual, it can take some conscious effort at first to start practicing self-compassion. Kristin Neff herself notes that because of our habitual responses to hurt and negative emotions, getting started can often be a drastic change of perspective Neff, Self-compassion is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings… With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience.
These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with themselves.
There are lots of specific exercises available online that will help you practice self-compassion in a way that suits you. One good place to start is by thinking about how you would treat others that you care about. In this respect:. Other techniques relate to being more self-aware and tapping into our self-talk.
Here are some example tips:. Over six sessions, it covers approaches that you can use in the moment, immersive practices, and guided self-compassion meditations that draw on the theory and its applications.
Topics covered include Neff, :. Here you can look into more research on self-compassion , browse through her recommended self-compassion books, and watch videos to learn more. com is another lovely source of more resources on mindful self-compassion.
Germer is the co-developer of MSC training , and as such, his website is a good place for helping professionals interested in developing their MSC skills. Linked closely to Chrisgermer. com, the CenterforMSC. org website is also a rich source of meditations , practices, and general background for therapists and coaches.
Professionals can search for online practice groups such as the MSC Community for Deepening Practice and related off-site communities.
com , meditations, and plenty of background on MSC. Educators can get more information on immersive MSC teacher training courses, and there is a wealth of background reading recommendations for those who simply want to learn more.
Other websites on Self-Compassion can be found in abundance at the resources page of self-compassion. Many people think of selfishness, over-optimism, self-pity, and passivity. Living in a modern world in which perfectionism is often the norm rather than the exception, being compassionate with the self feels very unnatural to most and triggers such negative beliefs.
Although self-compassion is often mistaken for selfishness, Marshall and colleagues illustrate that higher levels of self-compassion are associated with more giving behaviors and attitudes. Sugar coating: A self-compassionate inner voice is also mistaken for an overly optimistic, even unrealistic perspective on the self.
On the contrary, the curious and friendly tone of the self-compassionate voice helps one recognize and accept weaknesses while providing constructive feedback for self-improvement Neff, Self-pity: It is not uncommon for the self-compassionate voice to be mistaken for self-pity.
However, according to Neff and colleagues , higher self-compassion is associated with having greater mastery-oriented motivation — a curiosity and desire to develop skills and master tasks.
Passivity: It is also often mistaken for encouraging passivity. In a nutshell, we can use positive affirmations to keep up a global narrative for ourselves, about ourselves, that is relevant to our self-identity.
Most people already know about affirmations of values things we hold meaningful and personally important , and using affirmations to broaden our sense of self-concept Critcher and Dunning, They may be more goal-focused and designed to motivate, sparking our intention to change. self-talk in a goal-setting context—you might find this paper on Hope Theory very helpful Snyder et al.
Goals like becoming more self-compassionate, for instance. Replacing negative automatic thoughts with self-compassionate internal dialogue helps us deal with our Inner Critic, replacing it with empathetic self-directed talk Earley, ; Mindfulness scripts are useful tools for therapists and individuals.
They form a key part of the Mindful Self-Compassion program MSC developed by Drs. Christopher Germer and Kirstin Neff. As part of broader self-compassion practice, they can be useful guidance for cultivating a state of mindfulness:. Mindfulness scripts help in practicing self-compassion by taking us through painful emotions and feelings in a detached and accepting way.
Available as videos, written scripts, body scan soundtracks, and more, they help us Parker, :. Given that letter-writing is one very specific exercise for practicing self-compassion, there is unsurprisingly a dearth of studies on this precise topic.
But what we do know about expressive hand-written letters, emotions, and the nature of self-compassion suggests that they may have some benefits. They require us to disinhibit and of course write about emotional experiences, like the painful feelings that sometimes trigger self-criticism.
So if you feel that these sound like benefits which might help you, it may be worth trying to put your thoughts down as words.
True, it may not feel natural at first, but some things take practice. Here are some example letters that you can use both to get started and as you continue your self-compassion practice. Please do tweak these examples, which are deliberately generic and intended only as a guide:.
As you recall the experience you began writing about, move the topic toward common humanity. Go easy on yourself for this part, and write to yourself as you would to someone you care deeply about. As the last few sentence starters show, you can write using second-person pronouns if it helps.
The sources that inspired these prompts can be found at this link and in this PDF. Self-compassion is refreshing in its premise. It initially takes conscious effort even to become aware of our mental processes, but most worthwhile things do require practice.
Would little self-compassion exercises flashcards work for you? How about a blog or a creative reminder to be kind to yourself? What has worked for you in the past that you might want to tweak? Let us know in the comments!
We hope you enjoyed reading this article. This is a great in-depth guide to an important topic. So thorough with many different resources and diverse approaches.
I really needed this today. Thank you so much! Gracias: thank you for your article. I feel that it was very generous in including other sources to continue, and am hopeful.
A few years ago I attended a workshop in Phoenix with Kristin Neff. This was extremely helpful for me and a life changer. I liked your article very much, and for sure I will download it on my page, so that my students can raise awareness, and benefit from it.
I also will follow your articles and if you have a face page I will be happy to visit it. Best regard. Hi Dr. Ahmed, So glad you liked the article and thank you for sharing with your students. You can find and follow us on Facebook here.
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Or have you ever [ Home Blog Store Team About CCE Reviews Contact Login. How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips. Scientifically reviewed by Jo Nash, Ph. This Article Contains How to Have and Show Self-Compassion How Can We Best Practice Self-Compassion?
Self-Kindness Self-kindness is about showing kindness and understanding toward ourselves when we fail at something, or when we are hurt Neff, a.
Mindfulness Mindfulness is seen as the opposite of avoidance or over-identification in self-compassion theory—it entails acknowledging and labeling our own thoughts as opposed to reacting to them Kabat-Zinn, ; Neff, Example SCS items for mindfulness translate into the following behaviors Neff, b: : Aiming to keep our feelings in balance when we experience something upsetting; Maintaining perspective when we fail at things that are important to us; and Adopting our emotions with curiosity and openness when we feel sad.
How Can We Best Practice Self-Compassion? How to Start Dr. Download 3 Free Self Compassion Exercises PDF These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with themselves.
Download PDF. Download 3 Free Self-Compassion Tools Pack PDF By filling out your name and email address below. Email Address Required.
Your Expertise Required Your expertise Therapy Coaching Education Counseling Business Healthcare Other. This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. In this respect: Let yourself make mistakes.
Closely related to the previous tip, this is about being understanding and empathetic towards yourself. If a friend is feeling down, hurt, or upset, you might physically pat them on the back or hold their hand.
Try not to go overboard with the endearing terms if it feels too odd, of course! Becoming More Self-Aware Other techniques relate to being more self-aware and tapping into our self-talk.
These are closely related if not equivalent to mini-exercises in self-forgiveness and tap into the mindfulness concept of detached non-judgment. Try self-acceptance. This means embracing your own perceived shortcomings as well as your character strengths Morgado et al.
Self-compassion is about not over-inflating these shortcomings into a definition of who we are—rather, thoughts and feelings are behaviors and states Neff, Practice mindfulness. Harvard Healthbeat suggests that mindfulness practices are a good way to center ourselves in the moment.
Try not to judge yourself too quickly. This is once again about treating yourself as you would others, and just a future-focused way to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.
Here are some example tips: Let go of the need for outside validation. Author Dani DiPirro of Stay Positive, The Positively Present Guide to Life suggests that lots of our negative thinking come from how others perceive us.
Choosing not to tie our happiness to outside influences can thus be an act of self-kindness with a much larger knock-on effect Neff, Reaching out to others. This might sound like the opposite of the above, but in fact, this technique is more about placing your feelings in context.
So what does Dr. Kirstin Neff herself say about self-compassion? Kristin Neff: the three components of self-compassion. Topics covered include Neff, : How to be easier on yourself; Why we often resist showing self-compassion; The distinctions between self-compassion and self-esteem; Dealing with difficult feelings more adaptively; and Self-motivating positively rather than criticizing yourself.
The eight featured exercises include: The compact, take-away Self-Compassion Break for individuals to practice anytime; How would you treat a friend? Understanding, barriers to , and preparing for self-compassion are introductory modules in a sense, while Compassionate Imagery and Self-Compassionate Thinking are slightly more hands-on with guides and exercises.
Modules 6 and 7 on Self-Compassionate Behavior and Self-Compassionate Living are full of practical tips for individuals.
On the link above, you can download the whole book as a zip file for free. This site has also compiled some free exercises on mindful self-compassion.
While the desire to stay informed and engaged is understandable, it is also important to attend to feelings of being overwhelmed and to prioritize self-care.
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Counseling and Educational Support Services. Our Campuses Make a Gift Info for. Helpful Resources. Coping with Stress. Unplug Limit your consumption of social media and other digital media by taking breaks.
Be Present Use reflection to recognize your inner thoughts and feelings. Consider practicing self-compassion as you work through challenging or uncertain times.
Try some of these exercises compiled by Dr. Kristin Neff, a renowned researcher of self-compassion. Grab your phone and your earbuds and head outside for a guided mindful walk to de-stress.
Listen to nature and soothing Tibetan singing bowls. Grounding strategies can help us get in touch with our bodies and surroundings in the present moment. Pause what you are doing and pay attention to what you can see, hear, smell and touch in your environment.
This Youtube channel offers introductory videos to mindfulness and guided meditations. Refuel Focus on restoring yourself with rest and healthy food. Sleep: Is your sleep schedule irregular? Are you sleeping more than you want to be?
Are you having trouble falling asleep? If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you may benefit from these sleep hygiene tips and resources or this sleep meditation. Eating and nutrition: Explore tips, guidelines and health information related to healthy eating and learn more about the KU Medical Center THRIVE Food Pantry.
You can also check out the KUMC THRIVE Food Pantry. Exercise: Kirmayer Fitness Center offers free Zoom classes or check out these additional free online exercise classes. Connect Studies show that connecting decreases stress, depression, anxiety and loneliness.
Five ways to build stronger connections Write a letter Pick up the phone and call Ask meaningful questions Answer questions with honesty Connect via video Connect virtually: Attend a Zoom dance party , Netflix Party , virtual group workout, peer support group with topics for everyone , online book club or online karaoke.
Connect spiritually: Spirituality can be one way to connect with yourself, others, nature or a higher power s. Consider participating in KU Medical Center's non-denominational spiritual gathering , held a. every Monday.
Avoid multitasking while zooming: Even though it can be tempting to use more than one device at a time or check emails and respond to texts while Zooming, focusing on the content of the meeting will actually give your brain a break.
Turn on your video and engage.
Mindfulness is managmeent an awareness of our Stress management techniques for self-compassion, feelings, sensations, and managemetn. It involves an acceptance of feelings towards these Stress management techniques for self-compassion anything, Pediatric dentistry services that there is no Stres way Sress feel, nor is there an incorrect way to feel. All we can do is be aware of ourselves and our interactions. Mindfulness in everyday life has been shown to reduce overall stress levels. Take a busy day for instance. If you have practices, homework, errands, and about six other tasks to complete, you may have the desire to think about all of these things at once and focus on them all at once. Counseling and Educational Managemnt Services is here to provide recommendations and Strees for Stress management techniques for self-compassion manqgement all Rechniques of stress one may encounter. Limit your consumption self-xompassion social Healthy eating habits and other digital media by taking breaks. Consider scheduling a short block of time in the morning and one in the evening to catch up on news without checking for every new update during the day. Use reflection to recognize your inner thoughts and feelings. Be curious and non-judgmental and give yourself permission to feel the way you do. Although avoiding can be useful, "stuffing" or ignoring strong emotions can have negative impacts.
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